Baby brother

Sweet Potato has a new baby brother.  While we were expecting, we’d ask her what we should name him. One of Sweet Potato’s actual suggestions was “Eggplant Tomato”. Needless to say, we didn’t actually  name him that, but that’s what I’ll call him here.

The cutest kids ever

Eggplant Tomato and Sweet Potato

So far, Eggplant Tomato is nursing and growing well.  He is now 6 months old, and I have started to introduce solids into his diet.  From what I remember, Sweet Potato was pretty interested in food, and willingly opened her mouth for the spoon. Not so, Eggplant Tomato.  Whenever I hold a spoon of food in front of him, he looks at it and at me with his mouth closed and a slightly puzzled look on his face.  Then he begins to swing both hands at the spoon, which I finally realized is his attempt to grab it himself.  But when I manage to get a bite of baby food into his mouth he vacillates between gagging, making faces, and grinning at me with his mouth hanging open, food and drool dripping onto his bib.  So, he usually just gets to hold and chew on a clean baby spoon while Sweet Potato and I eat breakfast.

Sometimes I’ll give him tiny bites of what I’m eating. The other day he seemed interested in my slightly spicy beans and rice, so I held up a grain of rice for him to eat. ET dutifully opened his mouth, and even seemed to like it.  He also has gotten tiny bites of waffle cone from my fingers and potato from my fork.  But after that when I tried to feed him baby food again from a spoon, he gave me that confused skeptical look again. He has done this multiple times, while also seeming willing and eager to eat what is on my plate.  I have come to the conclusion that this baby does not like or want baby food; he wants to eat table food.

I can feed myself!

Baby carrots anyone?

I want to do it myself!

So now I have a dilemma. How do I feed him foods that he can “chew” and swallow that are appropriately seasoned (read: not over salted) in adequate quantities to support his growth, all while not needing to cook extra foods for the baby? Or should I just continue to give him our foods in larger amounts and let him gag or spit them out if he can’t tolerate them? Have any of my readers wisdom to offer on this subject?

ET adores his big sister SP.


Some days feel like parenting fails

Some days just feel like parenting failures when it comes to feeding my three-year old. Take today, for example.

Breakfast: toast with butter and cinnamon sugar, 1/2 bagel with cream cheese, milk (Why didn’t I give her fruit or peanut butter? I don’t know.)

Lunch: noodles, yogurt and broccoli. She also had on her plate asparagus and chick peas, both of which she likes, but she decided to forgo them.

Snack: applesauce, cheese stick, milk

Supper: most of 2 corn muffins, 2 bites of chili, the top of a chocolate chip blondie.

Yes, Sweet Potato had an all-carb day.  I suppose my carb-aholic tendencies are rubbing off, but I always hope she’ll eat more of what is on offer.  I also need to do a better job offering her high protein foods at breakfast in particular, as well as throughout the day.  Well, tomorrow is another day…onward and upward!

Judge not

Nothing has changed my perspectives on parenting like becoming a parent.  Before I had children, I always used to scorn the “kids menu” at restaurants.  They are almost entirely composed of things like chicken nuggets, burgers, fries and macaroni and cheese, no matter what type of restaurant you are visiting. I still do not like kids menus, but I have come to have a more nuanced feeling about them.

Somehow, Sweet Potato has gotten it into her head that she doesn’t like meat, but for some reason, she likes to eat chicken nuggets and fries.  I have learned that any time you sit down to eat with a three-year-old, it’s basically a crap shoot on what they’ll eat, or even if they’ll eat anything.  So when we go to restaurants, I am often persuaded to get her nuggets and fries since these are foods that she’ll eat somewhat reliably.

There is nothing that makes me scratch my head as a parent like seeing my child turn down home cooked chicken or pot roast, but ask for fast-food chicken nuggets.   Or why when I give her a “loaded” potato (everything is separate) with extra broccoli because I know she loves broccoli, the only thing she eats is the bacon.  Why will she not eat fresh meat, but she will eat processed meat? I’m pretty sure she does it to drive me crazy, or just to  remind me that she’s in control of what goes into her stomach.

This whole area of eating/not eating is just one more example of issues on which we as parents and especially non-parents need to stop judging other parents.

Is she even taking a bite?

5 Toddler eating behaviors that drive me crazy!

1. Not eating what she asks for. The other day Sweet Potato asked me for a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast. I gave her a slice of homemade bread with peanut butter on it, but she insisted on another piece of bread on top. After I gave in (it was a lot of bread!), she proceded to take the second slice off the top, then scoop peanut butter off the bread and lick it off her finger. I don’t think she ate a bite of bread.

2. Insisting on a snack of cookies, chocolate or the like five minutes before supper is ready to be served, then throwing a temper tantrum when I won’t give it to her.

3. Putzing around eating cool or room temp foods while letting her hot meal sit, and then telling me that it’s too cold, “go warm it up.” This drives me crazy!

4. Asking for more of something before she’s finished her first serving. Like she has half of it left. I tell her to finish what she has, and I’ll give her more if she still wants it.  She rarely even gets through her firsts when I tell her this.

5. Using her fingers to eat ketchup, salad dressing or whatever dipping sauce she happens to have. She doesn’t even dip her food in it and lick it off the food- she dips her finger in it, and licks it off her finger. Arg!

What drives you crazy?


Well, it’s been over a year since I posted anything (whoops!) and since Sweet Potato is going through new phases in her eating life, I thought it was time to start again.

When I last wrote, SP ate just about anything I put in front of her most of the time.  These days she has a few favorite foods (peanut butter, cookies, broccoli, and almost anything her dad is eating), and won’t try anything else.  For example, yesterday we had steamed broccoli and leftover tuna-rice casserole. She has yet to even try tuna- rice or tuna-noodle casserole, but she ate all her broccoli.  Today we had spinach salads and manicotti. She ate a couple spinach leaves dipped in salad dressing, and refused to eat a bite of manicotti until her dad told her she couldn’t have anything that he might later eat unless she at least ate all the noodles.  She then had a couple small bites.

Her neophobia is expressing itself not just in her refusal of mixed foods, but of plain foods that she used to like.  I used to give SP plain soy milk on a regular basis, and she liked it, even calling it chocolate milk. But then the cost got to me and I quit buying soy milk for quite a while. Now she won’t drink it. I even tried giving her mostly dairy milk with a little soy milk mixed in, and she wouldn’t have that, either.

From what I read, neophobia is a phase we just have to get through. I will continue (or re-start) cooking healthy foods, and remind myself that just looking at the food on her plate and watching Mom and Dad eat them counts as a “food exposure,” and it may take 20 of these for her to like a food. I also need to remember that toddlers generally like non-mixed foods better than casseroles.  And when I make casseroles, I need to provide a plain food like bread or rice for her to fill up on if she chooses not to eat the main dish. No one likes to put a kid to bed hungry, and she’ll get over this phase eventually and start liking foods again.

How to dine out with a two year old

We went out to eat the other night, and had the most successful time of it that we’ve had in a while. I think a few things went just right for that to happen. Here are the things that facilitated an enjoyable evening out with our toddler, although I make no garuantees that these tips will be successful for everyone ,every time.

1. Know your child. Does she get crabby after 5 pm? Go out before then. Does she eschew meat? Don’t go to a burger joint. Does she like to watch people? Go someplace on the busy side. You get the point.

2. Prepare. Look at menus on line before going out, and decide what you will order for your child. If possible, decide what you will eat, too.  This expedites the ordering process, especially if you’re indecisive about what to order at restaurants.

3. Prepare your child. I think this is the key thing that helped us this time we went out. I repeated to Sweet Potato before we left home, while in the car, while getting out of the car and right after sitting down at the restaurant, “we are going to eat a meal together and enjoy each other’s company. We are not going to get out of our chairs until it’s time to leave.” The repetition of the preparation phrase seemed to stick, and she didn’t try to get out of her chair.

4. Bring distractions. Bring a book, a small (quiet) toy, or coloring supplies for your child to play with before her meal comes. It’s also good to have some questions ready, i.e. what color is the table cloth? How many people are at that table in the corner?  Who did you play with today?

5. Order early. This goes with #2. When your server comes to get your drink order, go ahead and order your child’s food, and ask for it to be sent out right away. If you already know what you want, you can order yours too, although you don’t want to rush the experience too much, right? Otherwise you’d be at McDonald’s.

6. Compromise. I would not normally be okay with my child eating only french fries for supper, but if that’s all she’ll eat at a restaurant, I’ll let her. Her diet is generally very healthy, so one meal that is nutrient deficient is not going to hurt her. The only exception to this would be if you’re eating out several times a week all the time. But really- who does that with a two year old?

I hope you find these helpful for your next time out with kiddos.  Veteran moms- do you have any other tips?

Self-fulfilling prophecies

I’ve noticed that Sweet Potato rarely eats meat. I try to give her a little piece every time we eat meat, but I can’t remember the last time I saw her eat chicken, beef or sausage. Last week we had talapia, and she was brave enough to try it, but promptly spit it out. (I told her “you just haven’t tried it enough times yet,” and felt good about remembering that line.) Now I’m beginning to wonder how much I’ve talked about her distaste for meat in front of her. And how much of this talk is she internalizing and then acting out? Is her little brain thinking “Mama says I don’t like meat, so I’m not going to eat that chicken.”?  Do we, as American parents, sabatoge our own efforts to get our children to eat good food by reminding them that they “don’t like” something?

Just in case, I’ve decided to stop talking about Sweet Potatoe’s dislikes in front of her. If I’m going to talk about her food preferences, it’s going to be to brag about what she does eat, and how she is adventurous and brave about new foods, even if that stretches the truth a bit.  If Sweet Potato is going to fulfill one of my prophecies, I want it to be a good one.

Now for some gratuitous photos.

Baker in Training

Chip off the Old Block


I love Brussels sprouts!!

What I ate at our meal. I had to take a picture because it was really pretty, and particularly healthy.


What Sweet Potato started with (except that she had already eaten her strawberries)

What Sweet Potato started with (except that she had already eaten her strawberries)


Isn't Mama proud?

At meal’s end. When comparing these photos, it becomes clear that healthy food brings joy.

This was the first time she had eaten her entire slice of quiche in several months.  I was elated! I also discovered that she’ll eat Brussels sprouts if they’re quartered, but not if they’re halved. Sometimes, it’s the little things that make the difference.

Interpreting food refusal

Since Sweet Potato’s unexpected acceptance of cheese and eggs, she has continued to (usually) turn up her nose at these foods.  She even occasionally refuses pancakes and raisins.  I had been wondering how a child who normally loves pancakes will all of a sudden decide she doesn’t want one, and then it struck me.  Who of us doesn’t go through a phase of liking a food, and then a phase when we’re not in the mood for it? Especially if we’ve eaten that food every day for 3 or 4 days? Of course Sweet Potato is sick of pancakes by the fourth day; so am I! And a child learning to talk can’t tell me “Mama, I like pancakes, but I’m just not in the mood today.” I suspect most toddlers can’t put that concept into words either, hence my friends’ comments that their child who liked macaroni and cheese yesterday is today saying that it’s “yucky.”

In a book I read recently (I can’t remember whether it was French Kids Eat Everything or Bringing up Bebe), the author stated that adults will encourage kids to try a food, and if the child says that they “don’t like it,” the adult says “Oh well- you just haven’t tasted it enough times yet.”  Instead of getting riled up, they accept the statement, but don’t expect it to define their child’s taste for the rest of his life. How freeing!

So, as I continue to feed Sweet Potato, and introduce new foods to her, I’m going to take these attitudes. If she refuses food that she has previously liked, she’s just not in the mood today. If she tries something once and dislikes it, she just hasn’t tasted it enough times yet. I’ll keep offering new foods. One day she’ll come around.

Ten things I wish I had known

aka “Words of wisdom for weaning”

1. Take a deep breath. Relax. Nothing you do out of love regarding food/feeding at this point is going to scar your baby for life. It’s okay!

2. If you decide to make your own baby food, do so with the knowledge that much if not most of it is going to be thrown away rather than consumed, and with the attitude that that’s okay. If you can’t take that attitude, you may want to rethink making the food.

3. If you “cave” and buy baby food, even the non-organic Gerber food, that’s okay, too. It’s actually rather liberating. There are good options for pre-made baby food out there, and you can still teach your child to like good wholesome food. It’s also very convenient, and you need a little convenience once in a while.

4. Save some effort and use a food mill to puree some of what the family is eating. Why spend extra time making something for baby if you don’t have to?

5. If baby refuses a food, try again later. Later could mean tomorrow, in a few days or even a few weeks.  If you forget to introduce the food again for a few months, that’s okay too. It may even work better than giving it again right away.

6. Don’t feed your baby rice cereal unless it is very thin. And if you’re waiting until your baby is 6 months before trying it, she probably doesn’t need it to be very thin, so you may want to just use a different cereal. Believe me, you do not want a painfully constipated baby.

7. Work on introducing a cup or bottle. This is especially for breast-fed babies. I don’t think it matters much whether you pick a bottle, sippy or open cup, but your child will need extra fluid as she nurses less. Make acceptance of your chosen vessel a priority to avoid a dehydrated, constipated child.

8. Children acquire new skills at different rates. Just because your friend’s son can hold and appropriately use a spoon at one year doesn’t mean yours will. It’s okay.

9. Plan on sleeves and shirts getting dirty. If you don’t think you can mentally handle this, strip the kid down before meal times, and hose her off after she eats. Or just think of messy meals as an opportunity to change your kiddo into a different, but equally cute outfit.

10. As American women, we tend to over-analyze everything. Just remember that women have been having babies with no idea how exactly to do any of this stuff for thousands of years, and yet the human race has managed to survive and thrive. Also, your child will have no recollection of any of this anyway. I think God knew we were going to make some stupid mistakes, and this way our kids won’t be able to bring them up ad nauseam for the rest of our lives. Relax and enjoy this phase. It’s going to be okay!

What about you other moms? What do you wish you had known when you were starting your child on his or her food journey?

The power of words

Sweet Potato is really learning to talk now. She knows several letters and numbers, the names of a few of her friends, several animals, and of course foods!  She had never been a fan of cheese, but one night she was sitting in her high chair waiting for dinner with shredded cheese also waiting for dinner in front of her.  I was finishing getting the chili and cornbread together when I heard Sweet Potato say “cheese!”, and thought What the heck? Just because she hasn’t eaten it before doesn’t mean she won’t eat it tonight.  So I walked over, put a small amount of cheese on her plate and proceded to be surprised by how much cheese she ate that night.

Yesterday she did it again. I gave her a fried egg at breakfast, and she ate it saying “egg! Num-ee!” even though she hasn’t deigned to eat eggs in months.

I think part of both of these food acceptance experiences can be attributed to language.  Sweet Potato is so excited about knowing the words for things and being able to say them and communicate, that she was excited to eat the foods she was talking about.  I hope she continues to try and like more foods as she learns to say the words for them.